There's No Shame In This Game



  When I first started running, I had this irrational fear that I would be the last one to cross the finish line at any race. I've only ever trained with my family ( who are also runners) and I am the slowest one. I think that's why I love Disney Races, Rock n Roll Races, J&A Races and any other race that has thousands upon thousands of runners lining up at the start!  I like the fact that I can be "lost" in the crowd. For this reason, I have avoided many smaller races for some time.

I've come to realize that when I run those "Big" races, I am not slow and I probably will never be last. I am average.  Since the beginning, I have even run some "smaller" races and have even come one or two runners away from placing in my age group.

Last year was the first year my mom and I ran the April Fools race in Atlantic City. We had such a fun race weekend that we knew for sure that we wanted to come back and do it again the following year.

Last year we decided to start small, so we signed up for the 7k. The race course was completely on the boardwalk and was a pretty easy run  ( besides the smell of funnel cakes being made in the morning and the occasional spectator who would decided that he/she would watch while smoking a cigarette. Deep fried foods and cigarette smoke are two things you don't want to be smelling while you run a race).  The race shirt and the medal I earned for completing this race was among my favorite at this point.

So when we signed up to run the race again we decided to bump it up a notch and run the 11K.  This is the first race I'd be running since the Princess Half Marathon at Disney in February. It was going to be used as just another training run for another race that I was training for this month.....BUT since I have been suffering from terrible IT band and hip pain, I've had to make a few decisions. So with that being said, I've decided that I'm going to bump myself back down to the 7K. 

Not only am I going to run the smaller distance, I may not even run it at all. Okay, that's a lie. I will be running some of it. I will be doing my Run-Walk-Run-Walk method but it might turn into a Walk-Walk-Run, Walk-Walk-Run.  And ya know what, I don't care! I don't care if people look down upon me, I don't care if people are wondering why I am going so slow, and ya know what I don't even care if I am the last one to finish!  And just to be clear, we signed up for this race back in 2013. I didn't want you to think that I signed up for it after I was already injured. That would have been a dumb move!   I didn't want to give up a fun girls weekend with my mom and have her have to give up a race she already paid for.

This is probably the only race that I have absolutely no expectations on finish time. I know when I did the half marathon while I was injured my goal was to just finish, but deep down, I did have a time goal that I wanted to beat ( it was adjusted due to my injury, but I beat it). For this race, I have absolutely NO expectations at all. I just want to concentrate on running and being smart about it and not pushing myself.  I want to be able to feel good after I cross the finish line ( no matter what the time is) and not have to be wheeled to the medical tent afterwards!


Have you ever had the fear of finishing last in a race?   ~M

41 comments:

  1. Last year I ran a local half with only 1200 runners. I am not very fast. I finished ahead of about 30 runners. I was ok with it! I finished and that's all I cared about. This year there were 1600 runners and I was faster by 14 minutes and finished ahead of about 150 people. Good luck to you!

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    1. Wow, that's great Bonnie to have increased your speed by 14 minutes in one year!

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  2. So motivational! I have had a fear of being last before, but my personal goals for each race trump the fear of being last. As long as I accomplish my own goal, being last would be ok! You are awesome; have fun at the race!

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    1. Thanks Lauren! This weekend was more about spending time with my mom at the beach, but why not earn the t-shirt and the bling ( cause I already paid for it...lol).

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  3. That's a great message! I always have a fear of being last and I am slow, but I realized it was ok to be last after it actually happened!

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    1. I realized that the last person to finish still gets all the great benefits of the first, right? We are just getting our monies worth!

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  4. I signed up for a local New Year's Day 5k here with some friends and we walked the whole thing. We were literally the last people to cross the line. And I was worried at the beginning as well as embarassed. But everyone was so supportive! The runners and volunteers all said so many encouraging things. I realized that the shame was all in my own head and that no one else was looking down on us. It was the start of my journey and there's nothing wrong with that. It was a helpful experience so now I'm not worried about the fact that I'm always finishing near the end (57 out of 69 in the last race) and I try to remember to be encouraging to everyone else to spread that good feeling. I guess getting being last out of the way early on put it into perspective.

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    1. You have a good attitude! Once you've already came in last it can only get better from there, right?

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  5. I don't worry about it now since I'm doing this running thing for me, but in high school when my team was doing runs together, I would finish last. Long distance running at high speed was not my forte in high school, and why I hated running so much. Now it's just me and it's fun.

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    1. Yes, I can see where it would be so much better running just for you than having a team depend on you. That would certainly stress me out!

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  6. Way to keep everything in perspective, Meranda. When I had to adjust my approach to Rock' n' Roll USA and had to walk a lot more than I would have liked, I also knew that I had to not care about what others thought of my walking so much of the race. Nobody but you and anybody else you've told knows exactly what circumstances you're facing on race day. While I do often fear finishing last, just knowing that I went to the race and finished is enough for me. Someday I'll be faster, but that day isn't today.

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    1. Yes, after my half marathon I realize that race plans need to be changed and anything can literally happen no matter how long you've trained for an event.

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  7. I am never afraid of being last. Just like there is no chance I will be first, there is also no chance I will be last. There will always be someone walking with two strollers and three dogs or something crazy like that. ;)

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  8. This is a great attitude to have! I honestly run races to just run and be apart of the community. Sometimes I have my own goals but I am always happy when I cross the finish line. I love that I am a runner and I feel so alive when I run. I think that is the amazing thing about being a runner and "racing." :) Good luck at your race! Do YOU! You will rock it regardless of your method!!!

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    1. I have the same attitude about running as you do. It started out that I just wanted to be a part of something. I'm not usually this hard on myself.

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  9. Yes. All the time. And I actually am DFL at smaller races. I feel so bad when volunteers and race organizers stay late to keep the finish open for me. But it's happened several times. Before I sign up I look at the results for past two or three years to see the finish times. Often in local small events, the slowest finish time don't go beyond 11 or 12min/mile pace. I don't sign up for those. I'm hoping this won't always be an issue - as there are many races I would like to do, shorts distances and up to half marathon distance, but I just don't sign up to for this reason. ~DisneyBride

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    1. oops - sorry for so many typos! don't should be 'doesn't'. shorts should be 'short', to should be 'to run'.

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    2. You are not alone, I've actually looked up race results from smaller races too!
      And by the way, even though you type typos, I'm reading it correctly in my head! Therefore I don't even notice...haha

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  10. This just spoke my slow, almost last, heart... (I'm pinning your picture BTW for rememberance!)
    My first race I ever did was a half marathon &I wasn't properly trained. I literally thought I would die... & I was like 5th from last... even then I wasn't last... but I remember feeling so bad that I was so far back...
    Now? I've sat & cheered on people who were last coming across the finish line & I've cheered harder for them then anyone else. They still crossed it ... & it took them more effort... more of a reason to cheer.
    I don't fear it as much anymore.

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    1. Aww you are so sweet! I like the races where people stay and cheer on others who cross after them. So many times people just cross the finish line and then get in their car and go home!

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  11. Good for you! That is an awesome attitude, I love it. I also am terrified of being last. I think it's because I'm a "non-skinny" runner and I hate to be judged (even if it's only in my own head) as fat and slow... I feel like I have to be fast to prove something... So I always look up the race results and make sure I have a decent cushion, but you never know at any given race if you'll be the last finisher and someone has to do it, right. There is no shame in it and I need to keep your great photo as a reminder. I hope your race goes great! And, I cannot stand it when spectators smoke! What is with that?!?!

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    1. Thanks April. I have definitely learned to NOT JUDGE any runners. I have been blown away by gals that are twice my size! I think those who were out smoking were people from the casino that came out to see what was going on....lol

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  12. So funny story - I HAVE finished last in a race! It was a super small one (maybe 30 people total) and I was having major shin pain. I saw that the woman at the back was struggling, so I ran with her to help her finish. I let her finish ahead of me, so that meant I finished last! It was an amazing experience though!

    Have a BLAST at the race - it doesn't matter where you finish, as long as you are hang fun!

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    1. That should say "having fun" at the end ;)

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    2. That is actually one of the sweetest race gestures I have heard Megan! I would love to run with you one day!

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  13. Ahh...this brought memories of our first race. We ran a 10k on Thanksgiving morning 2010 to have a time/ corral placement for Princess Half 2011. The race ended up using a trail for more than half the distance and I went the wrong way....and I nearly started crying! I guess I knew I would not be last, but everyone has some funny race experience or three! Glad you are still going after your race and if you are last, embrace it!

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    1. Haha, what a fun memory to have of your first race ( even though it probably didn't seem fun at the time). I am definitely anxious to see how this one turns out.

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  14. You are keeping things in perspective, which is the best way to go into a race. Good luck and just HAVE FUN!!! Without fun, it's not worth doing!

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  15. The first race I ever did ( a local 5K) I was sooo scared this was going to happen. But once I crossed that finish line I was so proud of myself and realized that I should have more confidence in my abilities! :)

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  16. I had the BEST TIME EVER on my half marathon in December - I'd been dealing with a hamstring injury since late September and was just happy I got to participate in the race at that point. My friend and I did 1:1 intervals, said hello to every policeman and volunteer out there, and really enjoyed ourselves. Sometimes being able to let go of any and all expectations is a real blessing.

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  17. I think I took that picture! :-) I hope you have a great time and just have fun with it! I know it's hard to not feel 100%, but just do what you can and don't push yourself too hard.

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    1. Yes, I think you did, haha! I figured since you gave me permission to use it before that it would be okay to re-use it for this post :)

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  18. What is it about being last that freaks us out so much?! At least it motivates me to aim for "middle of the pack". Interesting you talk about this. I've been reading a lot about triathlons lately and in the Ironman World Championship in Kona, the biggest crowds show up not for the winners but for the last people who cross the finish line at midnight. In fact, it's become tradition for both the male and female winners to return to the finish at the end to receive the last people to cross and give them a lei. Maybe we should copy that tradition for Marathons and Half-Marathons. I thinks it's wonderful.

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  19. A friend and I ran the AC April Fools half as her first half in 2012 and she SWORE we were going to be the last people to cross the finish line. We were not. But I guess that fear is always there and my thought is, even if we ARE, so what!?! To me, I'm not racing the run, I'm running the run. I'm participating and getting it done, on my terms. :)

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  20. Good luck at your race!! I've had the fear of being last once. My mom and I signed up for what we thought was a fun 5 mile run on Christmas Eve. When we got there we realized we were surrounded by all serious runners and were so out of our league. Luckily neither of us came in last!

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  21. You rock, Meranda! I am proud of you for not pushing yourself too hard while you're healing (some advice I need to take into consideration) and for going out to have a good time. Enjoy your time with your mother!!

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  22. I finished dead last once in Cross Country in high school. The world didn't end. :) True, I was in terrible pain and was running my slowest race, but thats beside the point!

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  23. YOU GO GIRL! Screw 'em! They don't matter, what matters is you getting out there and giving it your best.

    I was so nervous to finish last my first couple of races, especially the smaller ones, even if I was running a 10 minute mile for a 10k I was only 6 people in front of the last runner. It felt amazing to just cross the finish line. It's hard to remember to forget about everyone else and focus on you. You're an amazing running and an even more amazing person (both you AND you sister :) )

    GO KICK ASPHALT!

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    1. Awww, thanks Meg! Actually we'll be kicking the "Boardwalk"...lol

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  24. I don't think I've been afraid of finishing last, but in all of my Disney Races I'm in constant fear of finishing behind the Balloon ladies, so that's almost the same right?! Either way, I love your attitude...the most important part is you're getting out there....and you get to have a fabulous girls weekend :)

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